Persona non grata

This article is submitted by Debashish Dumbre (BBA. LL.B. Class of 2020) 

 

One would think the college wants us dead inside if we didn’t know better. They took away those nice single seater desk/chairs we had in our first year, we didn’t say anything. They added an hour of classes and an extra subject to our daily schedule, we stayed silent. They had those amazingly efficient video presentations back in our second trimester, we accepted that because college hi toh maalik hai. But today, NMIMS School of Law threatened to take away the most sacred of institutions away from us. They threatened to take our Sunday away from us.

 
This exceedingly arrogant pronouncement by the School of Law not only treads upon the patience of us students, but it worryingly undermines the work that has been put into the NMCC event as a whole. Having to resort to the threat of attendance, which will undoubtedly be effective (getting debarred sucks), screams to the students that the administration lacks faith in the event. The work that the students have put in for the event has been amazing, and the NMCC is bound to be a success. But, a move like this breeds nothing but contempt and spite against the forced participation asked of us. How would you feel if in some dystopian future, the government forced you to partake in its countless endeavors? What if the Supreme Court forced you to stand up to the National anthem before every movie? (OOOOOOOH SNAP)
SOL students go through a lot. That constant paranoia of maintaining a steady GPA, keeping up with your amazingly talented peers, and keeping your attendance figures afloat is a monumental task for some. In the end, this isn’t about taking up our Sunday (it actually is), its about the administration realizing that its whims and fancies are mutually exclusive to its obligations.

 
Maybe, just maybe, we really do not know any better.

 
I hope they don’t expel me for this. I have a family to feed.

#HootForMoot #NMCC_2K17 : The hollow charade of threats

This article is submitted anonymously.

The shameless scare tactics employed to fill an auditorium resonate only hollowness if students are forced to sit in all day only to be eye candy for few photographs. It is a pointless charade that reduces adult human beings to mere objects for gratification.

Please note, this has nothing to do with the fact that students are being intimidated to attend on a Sunday. The very idea of intimidating students is an horrid one on any given day of any month. I do not appreciate being threatened with attendance every second day in Law School.

I was going to attend the Final Round simply because the spectacle of averments amuse me. However, I no longer wish to do so, as a sign of protest against the fact SVKM’s NMIMS School of Law National Moot Court Competition 2017 (NMCC) chose threats before appealing to my innate sensibilities.

They chose threats rather than telling me about razor sharp judges ripping through argument. Or the appeal of seeing participants from around the country finding their way through multifaceted tax laws. Or simply a request to help out my colleagues in the Organizing Committee.

It is sad.

Editorial Note: We entertain views from all sides of any argument. Rebuttals are always more effective. You know where to reach us. 

Unapologetically Correct: Fourth Year at NMIMS School of Law

 

This article is submitted by Lakshmi Srinivasan (BA.LL.B. Class of 2018) 

‘Hey, will your batch mates come?‘ ‘Why are the fourth years so lax?‘ Ever since I have met my juniors, they have been pestering me or some of my brethren with these questions (God Save us from these!). Not that these questions are annoying (to be honest, they are) but it sure puts me in an expression that I can’t explain. If someone says that women and engineering syllabus are complex, I would laugh at them. Because nothing can beat the complexity of these emotions (all felt at once damn!), the ones actors can get a….. National Award for [Oscars are overrated when they took so many years to reward Leo ] It is a discomfort – nostalgia – pain face after which I go into the grandma mode and say, ‘Tum kya jaano…‘ Hence in this segment, I choose to explain the sentiments of the fourth year students in our college.

For starters, we are 57 students in toto. Many juniors expressed their doubts on our strength, so yes, it is literally half of what we started with (yes, we had that day too when we couldn’t count our strength in our fingers, so you can stop judging us!) But I guess this is depressing enough for us to not get involved with this college anymore.

Secondly, we were given an orientation that told us to kiss goodbye to social life and do tapasya (for five freaking years). Though I personally admire the idea, we have implemented it in terms of our connect with the college. (Ha! Did you seriously think we would let go of our social life?)

If someone not a fourth year says, “I have lost faith in this college” and participates in all events that our college holds, they are kidding themselves. It’s because the fourth years have actually nothing to do with the college and would not come here if it were not for the credits or attendance. It is non-cooperation in its most concentrated sense that would put even Gandhiji to shame! Hence, you would see most of us in class (talking) or scrambling for books in the library on the first day of the trimester (our great college allows limited copies).

Books, reminds me of our condition in the first, second and third year. The other junior batches get their books and papers already and don’t have to work hard for it. Let me give you our perspective. “BOOKS” are those wonderful gems kept in limited edition in a treasure chest called the “LIBRARY”. These things throw light around them, give hope to us that someday I would have them outside the reference section, someday I would have them with me, that someday I would not have to collect coins on ‘Temple Run’ (pocket money) and unlock Books as a powerup , that someday I wilt maketh thee mine own.

Our priorities include coming to college at 8.10, before that fateful register is cruelly given away to the peon before we can negotiate, sitting in the lecture and trying not to sleep (that’s mostly me), wait for the clock to tick 12.40, and leave by the next rickshaw, metro or train.

We are involved in a lot of serious things like research Centres, placements, studies (fourth year does strike like a bolt of lightning on your head, try it!), thinking about how to procrastinate in the next class in the washroom without the faculty noticing or getting offended by it or how to pass the trimester end exams without going mad about not feeling like studying five days before the exams (this is gibberish for ‘We Don’t care’ or ‘Too lazy to bother’).

Thirdly, we like being the audience. If something good happens in college, we ‘strongly consider’ coming to it (‘Strongly Consider’ is like 4 point GPA in our ranks of priorities). Hence, pestering us for participation is to be done under expert supervision, not to be tried at home.

Above all, the reason we are like this (not that we need to justify ourselves)  is the fact that you have not been in the Academic Year 2013-2014, and saw us losing our hope in this college (something about being guinea pigs for the brilliant experiments and ideals of the college). Now we are at that stage of ‘I don’t give a damn’, wherein even comments about our laxity go unnoticed in the quiet corridors of the isolated 6th Floor.

Disclaimer: The views of the author are personal. None of the elements of the article attempt to demean or defame anybody who is or was associated with the college.

PS: If after reading this passage, you are still unclear about why the fourth years are like this, then you have to be the opposite of Einstein’s brain. If you need the gossip about what happened exactly all those years ago, pester the fourth years you know or hold your silence forever (kyunki kuch raaz ko raaz hi rehne do bachchon!) 

Have a great day! Cheers!

Editorial Note: Fourth years = Class of 2018

Unapologetically correct: THBT the current result announcing system is absolutely crap!

This article is submitted by Lakshmi Srinivasan (BA.LL.B. Class of 2018) 

Okay, I know you must be wondering what’s with this girl? She was always insane (I get whispers you know), but her insanity must have crossed leaps and bounds to post a debate in a ranting humour blog (that’s Le Monde de Kulcha for you!)

But, this idea came to me after I listened to most complaints and partly stemmed from my approval and disapproval (it’s complicated!) about the current result announcement method.

So without further adieu, taking my limited knowledge of debating, let’s hear the government and opposition on this!  (because it’s NMIMS and high debating culture – Debsoc are you listening? That’s my love for you guys!)

Note: Before you get ideas, this is a monologue with a touch of the parliamentary debate format (because I am inspired by North Korea and there is only one candidate you vote for!) Also expect some elements of… Drama (what did you think?).

Disclaimer (as a law student): The views of the author are personal. Kindly take things in light humour and chill in life! Else, Get a life!

PM:

The motion is readable and in English. (Hangeul opso!) So, before I start blabbering in broken Korean, we should proceed on with the definitions.

This House is set in NMIMS School of Law, 7th Floor, Mithibai campus, V. L. Mehta Road, Vile Parle – 400056. (I wear the ID card every day).

‘Results’ refers to that incident every four months in your life, because of which you are heavily judged and ranked even as an individual! (Ha! Nikla Bhadaas!)

‘Current Result Announcing System’ refers to the screwed up system of putting up your results that started with this trimester, wherein your parents are messaged and then you get the 10th standard feeling and where the CGPA is left to your interpretation. (As if the previous system didn’t insult people enough by putting it before everybody, but that was okay because one could still manage that)

‘Absolutely crap’ refers to the highest degree of crappiness a system can be! Like the Himesh Reshammiya and Rahul Gandhi level of crap! Like the Samsung Galaxy S Duos level of crap! Like the cow dung level of crap!

[Adj has tears in his eyes (revealing himself as a human) and then says, “May I request the Leader of Opposition to come forward and give his speech?” PM refuses to leave the podium and the Adj says, “Bas kar bhai.. Aur rulayega kya? Tumse na ho payega ye debating vebating.. Kar De mujhe Riha!”]

LO 

Sir Chair, I would like to challenge the definitions (because I am a South Indian and can’t accept such demeaning definition of something as dear as ‘results’)

While the House set is acceptable, the side Opposition feels that the side Government has overdone the jurisdiction of the house, revealing their excessive desire to show themselves as geniuses and of impeccable intelligence quotient popularly known as IQ, but have miserably failed in doing so and ended up making themselves look like Kalidas before his penance to Goddess Kali or those six blind mentally low-placed people around an elephant from the stories of Panchatantra, more commonly known as ‘fools’.

[Adj has the same expression as that professor from 3 idiots on Chatur’s definition of ‘machine’]

‘Results’ refers to something that you ought to have told your parents every time it strikes like a bolt of lightening, so that you are struck with their sword of words on your irresponsibility or responsibility as the case maybe, before you think of blackmailing your friends into not breathing a word to your parents even erroneously (or if they are scared too then you join their ‘toli’).

[Adj’ s eyes start drooping]

‘Current results announcing system’ refers to the responsible system by which you along with your parents and lathis can enjoy the benefit of knowing the results and applying for revaluation at the comfort of your house like one big (un) happy family.

[Snoring is heard]

‘Absolutely crap’ refers to the highest level of profanity that can be used before most parents if you want them to be harmless. Hence the side Government and the convener of the motion should be marked down for the use of such Profanities in this Holy House, Sir Chair.

[Adj jolts on hearing ‘Sir Chair’ and says ‘Yes Sir!’ in a drunk Raju Rastogi manner. Then realizes where he is and says]

“I have heard both the sides and the both the first speakers have each given me a perspective enough to not hear others speak and distance myself from the debating Circuit altogether for the purposes of my sanity. Also, to keep with the decorum, I announce the side Government to have taken the debate by a margin of 0.5. Jai bhadrakali! Bharat mata ki jai!” 

Speakers shocks, Adj rocks!

P.S.: In my view (finally I come to the point!), I don’t care if they announce the results in X-RAY scan folders or on Radio City, as long as they come on time, it does not make a difference. The current system may have flaws, but it has good points too. However I am still pissed off with the CGPA not showing up. Have to wait for the transcripts now!

P.P. S.: I know the post is long, but this is me hoping for a reason to pester Suyash and JD for a cheese kulcha!

Have a great day! Cheers!

Unapologetically Correct: A Tamilian in NMIMS

This article is submitted by Lakshmi Srinivasan (BA.LL.B. Class of 2018) 

More emphasis on ‘Tamilian’. This is because gone are the days when the territory beyond Solapur was called ‘Madras’ and people uniformly addressed as ‘Madrasis’.  While this belief may be prevalent in Mumbai, it is predominantly and annoyingly emphasized upon in NMIMS. So probably, the only people I feel who understand my position are the cleaning staff, who are incidentally from Salem, South of ‘Madras’ (Disclaimer : the word is misspelled, not to be pronounced as Abu Salem)

So now that the keypad is handed to me, I choose to debunk some myths about Madrasis geographically and culturally.

1. You are a Tamilian from where? 
The one way you can gauge the amount of geographical attention and common sense a person has in NMIMS, it is when someone says the above. I think the state makers tried to make it logical for people to understand a Tamilian’s origin. Yet for those who choose to remain blissfully unaware, here is a so-called Madrasi breaking their bubble.
See, Madras was quite big for administration. Which is why the blessed souls making states decided to have five states with different types of people and cultures: Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Kerala, Tamil Nadu. But it is still very difficult to identify which state Tamilians are from, ain’t it?

2. You are a Tamilian, so you speak Malayalam? 
Don’t the English speak French? Don’t the French speak Spanish? Don’t the Spanish speak English with the hard pronunciations? This question takes the same color.
The moment when someone asks me the question, I feel like saying ‘unfortunately no, but I aspire to’. In case the bulb refuses to switch on, Tamilians speak Tamil.

3. Aren’t you from Sri Lanka? LTTE must be your baby.. 
Ya.. Sure it is. I am as much a Sri Lankan as you are a Caucasian, Mr. NMIMS student. LTTE is such a blessed organization that has made a one small step to screw every Tamilian’s happiness. Mr. Prabhakaran, are you listening?

4. All your languages are the same and have jalebis as a script! 
Ouch!  Sure! All your languages have scripts like green chillies! Burn!
I wish our languages are that mouth watering, but they are not. And surely Tamil and Malayalam are as same as Marathi and Gujarati, aren’t they?

5. My most favorite : you must be having idlis and dosas all the time? The canteen South Indian food is amazing isn’t it? 
For all the Aditi Lovers, the Sambhar out there is just a spicier version of Jaggery syrup. My hunt is still on for the pulses in that, but hard luck!
When a person has better idlis made at home, why would that Tamilian eat South Indian at our canteen? Even if I have 25 bucks on me, I would prefer the vada pav over the Sada Dosa there.

But hang on, did I just make a logical argument in NMIMS?