Unapologetically Correct: Fourth Year at NMIMS School of Law

 

This article is submitted by Lakshmi Srinivasan (BA.LL.B. Class of 2018) 

Hey, will your batch mates come?‘ ‘Why are the fourth years so lax?‘ Ever since I have met my juniors, they have been pestering me or some of my brethren with these questions (God Save us from these!). Not that these questions are annoying (to be honest, they are) but it sure puts me in an expression that I can’t explain. If someone says that women and engineering syllabus are complex, I would laugh at them. Because nothing can beat the complexity of these emotions (all felt at once damn!), the ones actors can get a….. National Award for [Oscars are overrated when they took so many years to reward Leo ] It is a discomfort – nostalgia – pain face after which I go into the grandma mode and say, ‘Tum kya jaano…‘ Hence in this segment, I choose to explain the sentiments of the fourth year students in our college.

For starters, we are 57 students in toto. Many juniors expressed their doubts on our strength, so yes, it is literally half of what we started with (yes, we had that day too when we couldn’t count our strength in our fingers, so you can stop judging us!) But I guess this is depressing enough for us to not get involved with this college anymore.

Secondly, we were given an orientation that told us to kiss goodbye to social life and do tapasya (for five freaking years). Though I personally admire the idea, we have implemented it in terms of our connect with the college. (Ha! Did you seriously think we would let go of our social life?)

If someone not a fourth year says, “I have lost faith in this college” and participates in all events that our college holds, they are kidding themselves. It’s because the fourth years have actually nothing to do with the college and would not come here if it were not for the credits or attendance. It is non-cooperation in its most concentrated sense that would put even Gandhiji to shame! Hence, you would see most of us in class (talking) or scrambling for books in the library on the first day of the trimester (our great college allows limited copies).

Books, reminds me of our condition in the first, second and third year. The other junior batches get their books and papers already and don’t have to work hard for it. Let me give you our perspective. “BOOKS” are those wonderful gems kept in limited edition in a treasure chest called the “LIBRARY”. These things throw light around them, give hope to us that someday I would have them outside the reference section, someday I would have them with me, that someday I would not have to collect coins on ‘Temple Run’ (pocket money) and unlock Books as a powerup , that someday I wilt maketh thee mine own.

Our priorities include coming to college at 8.10, before that fateful register is cruelly given away to the peon before we can negotiate, sitting in the lecture and trying not to sleep (that’s mostly me), wait for the clock to tick 12.40, and leave by the next rickshaw, metro or train.

We are involved in a lot of serious things like research Centres, placements, studies (fourth year does strike like a bolt of lightning on your head, try it!), thinking about how to procrastinate in the next class in the washroom without the faculty noticing or getting offended by it or how to pass the trimester end exams without going mad about not feeling like studying five days before the exams (this is gibberish for ‘We Don’t care’ or ‘Too lazy to bother’).

Thirdly, we like being the audience. If something good happens in college, we ‘strongly consider’ coming to it (‘Strongly Consider’ is like 4 point GPA in our ranks of priorities). Hence, pestering us for participation is to be done under expert supervision, not to be tried at home.

Above all, the reason we are like this (not that we need to justify ourselves)  is the fact that you have not been in the Academic Year 2013-2014, and saw us losing our hope in this college (something about being guinea pigs for the brilliant experiments and ideals of the college). Now we are at that stage of ‘I don’t give a damn’, wherein even comments about our laxity go unnoticed in the quiet corridors of the isolated 6th Floor.

Disclaimer: The views of the author are personal. None of the elements of the article attempt to demean or defame anybody who is or was associated with the college.

PS: If after reading this passage, you are still unclear about why the fourth years are like this, then you have to be the opposite of Einstein’s brain. If you need the gossip about what happened exactly all those years ago, pester the fourth years you know or hold your silence forever (kyunki kuch raaz ko raaz hi rehne do bachchon!) 

Have a great day! Cheers!

Editorial Note: Fourth years = Class of 2018

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Unapologetically correct: THBT the current result announcing system is absolutely crap!

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This article is submitted by Lakshmi Srinivasan (BA.LL.B. Class of 2018) 

Okay, I know you must be wondering what’s with this girl? She was always insane (I get whispers you know), but her insanity must have crossed leaps and bounds to post a debate in a ranting humour blog (that’s Le Monde de Kulcha for you!)

But, this idea came to me after I listened to most complaints and partly stemmed from my approval and disapproval (it’s complicated!) about the current result announcement method.

So without further adieu, taking my limited knowledge of debating, let’s hear the government and opposition on this!  (because it’s NMIMS and high debating culture – Debsoc are you listening? That’s my love for you guys!)

Note: Before you get ideas, this is a monologue with a touch of the parliamentary debate format (because I am inspired by North Korea and there is only one candidate you vote for!) Also expect some elements of… Drama (what did you think?).

Disclaimer (as a law student): The views of the author are personal. Kindly take things in light humour and chill in life! Else, Get a life!

PM:

The motion is readable and in English. (Hangeul opso!) So, before I start blabbering in broken Korean, we should proceed on with the definitions.

This House is set in NMIMS School of Law, 7th Floor, Mithibai campus, V. L. Mehta Road, Vile Parle – 400056. (I wear the ID card every day).

‘Results’ refers to that incident every four months in your life, because of which you are heavily judged and ranked even as an individual! (Ha! Nikla Bhadaas!)

‘Current Result Announcing System’ refers to the screwed up system of putting up your results that started with this trimester, wherein your parents are messaged and then you get the 10th standard feeling and where the CGPA is left to your interpretation. (As if the previous system didn’t insult people enough by putting it before everybody, but that was okay because one could still manage that)

‘Absolutely crap’ refers to the highest degree of crappiness a system can be! Like the Himesh Reshammiya and Rahul Gandhi level of crap! Like the Samsung Galaxy S Duos level of crap! Like the cow dung level of crap!

[Adj has tears in his eyes (revealing himself as a human) and then says, “May I request the Leader of Opposition to come forward and give his speech?” PM refuses to leave the podium and the Adj says, “Bas kar bhai.. Aur rulayega kya? Tumse na ho payega ye debating vebating.. Kar De mujhe Riha!”]

LO 

Sir Chair, I would like to challenge the definitions (because I am a South Indian and can’t accept such demeaning definition of something as dear as ‘results’)

While the House set is acceptable, the side Opposition feels that the side Government has overdone the jurisdiction of the house, revealing their excessive desire to show themselves as geniuses and of impeccable intelligence quotient popularly known as IQ, but have miserably failed in doing so and ended up making themselves look like Kalidas before his penance to Goddess Kali or those six blind mentally low-placed people around an elephant from the stories of Panchatantra, more commonly known as ‘fools’.

[Adj has the same expression as that professor from 3 idiots on Chatur’s definition of ‘machine’]

‘Results’ refers to something that you ought to have told your parents every time it strikes like a bolt of lightening, so that you are struck with their sword of words on your irresponsibility or responsibility as the case maybe, before you think of blackmailing your friends into not breathing a word to your parents even erroneously (or if they are scared too then you join their ‘toli’).

[Adj’ s eyes start drooping]

‘Current results announcing system’ refers to the responsible system by which you along with your parents and lathis can enjoy the benefit of knowing the results and applying for revaluation at the comfort of your house like one big (un) happy family.

[Snoring is heard]

‘Absolutely crap’ refers to the highest level of profanity that can be used before most parents if you want them to be harmless. Hence the side Government and the convener of the motion should be marked down for the use of such Profanities in this Holy House, Sir Chair.

[Adj jolts on hearing ‘Sir Chair’ and says ‘Yes Sir!’ in a drunk Raju Rastogi manner. Then realizes where he is and says]

“I have heard both the sides and the both the first speakers have each given me a perspective enough to not hear others speak and distance myself from the debating Circuit altogether for the purposes of my sanity. Also, to keep with the decorum, I announce the side Government to have taken the debate by a margin of 0.5. Jai bhadrakali! Bharat mata ki jai!” 

Speakers shocks, Adj rocks!

P.S.: In my view (finally I come to the point!), I don’t care if they announce the results in X-RAY scan folders or on Radio City, as long as they come on time, it does not make a difference. The current system may have flaws, but it has good points too. However I am still pissed off with the CGPA not showing up. Have to wait for the transcripts now!

P.P. S.: I know the post is long, but this is me hoping for a reason to pester Suyash and JD for a cheese kulcha!

Have a great day! Cheers!

Tasting Life Mumbai Style – A New Beginning

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This article is submitted anonymously.

And the wait was over. Moving to a new city had its own feel. With the freedom of living alone came the fear of getting lost in your own thoughts. Days turned into months but everything is still afresh in my mind. The first time I sat in the locals, the night I came in after my curfew time, the day I cried a lot because home was faraway and the day I made new friends.
Mumbai has a charm if its own. It doesn’t let you down. Be it the cheap vada pavs or the expensive Pizza by the Bay, the Novotel or Juhu Chowpatty. It has a place for one and all. This wasn’t the first time I had visited this city, but it was the first time I could call this place a second home. The city gives you the chance to be yourself. It is intimidating to talk to the Mumbaikars, they are all very talented and different. They are straight-forward, impersonal people, who believe in “hard work is the only thing that pays off”, who are non-judgmental and have a smile on their face, no matter how bad their day has been. But, they make you feel like you are one of them. They won’t let you feel any less talented. Acceptance is their best quality.
This place will never let you feel lonely. Life is fast, sure, but only if you do something productive and not sleep all day long ( I don’t know why am I saying this). The sound of waves at the beach or the Marines, the sound of the locals at every few kilometres, the honking of cars at every signal or the sound of people running around to reach their offices on time. Everyone here is chasing their dreams and in the chaos, they find order and that is why life is fast here. Everyone is here with goals, goals that they want to fulfill. That is how you survive in this city.
What do I miss about my hometown? Well, there isn’t a lot of things, as Kolkata is a big city and the lifestyle is similar to that of Mumbai. The Ganpati festival in Mumbai reminds me of the Durga Pujo of Bengal. The street shops of Bandra and Colaba are close competitors to the New Market in Kolkata. The sunrise and sunsets at the Juhu flood my mind with the memory of the River Ganga and the scenic beauty of the city. What Bom-Bae can’t compensate for is the people back at my place, the food my mom cooks, the mouth watering Bangali sweets and Samosas and the independence I had living there for the last 18 years of my life.
It has just been few months, many more are yet to come. There are going to be days when I will miss home more than the freedom I have in Mumbai. There are going to be days when I will forget to talk to my mother because I was too busy exploring the city. But in the end of it all, no matter where I end up 5 years down the line, I have and am learning new ways to live with different people in an all new city. Everyday is a lesson in itself and every morning I wake up with a desire to learn something new. Mumbai has made me a confident, brave and an emotional person and there is much more to this journey.
I guess I’ll just hold on and see what is in store for me.

A review of ZooBar (As if you haven’t been there already)

 

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This article is written by Nidhi Parekh (BA.LL.B. Class of 2019)

I am writing this after being pestered by a certain man who has taken me to probably the shadiest place I will ever go to and who got my hopes high about going to Nirma together for a moot and then breaking my heart by going with other people. I had already written a 300 word shitty article that I wrote in 15 minutes but apparently it wasn’t good enough so I am writing this.

If it wasn’t for how much I love Jaidhara, who has been my travel buddy, my breakfast buddy and is also my second favourite person in this college after Amrita (who is more like a mother), I wouldn’t even be writing this. I’m only doing this for all the wonderful (and sometimes disgusting) memories she and I share together at ZooBar and otherwise. JD and I have sat near the driver of a sleeper bus for 12 hours, waiting for the sunrise (which we never saw) and have even seen a lady squat right in front of us and start peeing, so basically we’ve seen it all.

So this is the real deal. If you read this and don’t feel like going to ZooBar, then read Teesta Sen’s review of Quench because that is truly your only other option. I’ve been there only once, maybe because I have a clear bias towards ZooBar and also mostly because Quench is more expensive, so I can’t really compare these two places. Teesta has done an excellent job so go read that and choose for yourself.

Why should you go to ZooBar? Like a good ISCE student I’m going to tell you in points with underlined headings:

  1. Cheap alcohol and no ID issues (Do you even need more reasons?)

ZooBar is arguably the closest bar to NMIMS. It’s about a 3 min walk, on the way to the station. They open at 12pm which is perfect for those of us who want to go right after college and we have several times, perpetually on Tuesdays. They have happy hours till 8pm which means one plus one free on Fosters. A pint of Fosters on tap costs Rs.83 inclusive of everything during happy hours. This place tests your capacity and most of us have learnt that there is such a thing as too much beer. The sangria too, is also relatively inexpensive but the beer on tap is just better and cheaper option if you want to get hammered. They have a lot of options in terms of cocktails and there is some offer during happy hours for everyone, no matter what you drink.

Best part? No ID issues whatsoever. If you go before 8pm, you can just walk in and they will serve you, even if you look like an infant in Chota Bheem t-shirt. If only we knew of this place when we were 14 so we didn’t have to go around sneaking our parents alcohol.

  1. Good Food (At ZooBar and around)

If it is the first week of the month and your pocket is heavy with all the money you’re carrying around, ZooBar is a great place to lose all of it. The food is great but way too overpriced. The soups, pastas or pizzas are worth trying. They have quite a selection of desserts for a bar and they all sound yum. If you’re anything like me then you know you need a lot food with alcohol (or pretty much anything) and if ZooBar is too expensive then don’t worry. McDonald’s is right under ZooBar. You can pre-eat and go up to drink or even leave in between and pick up something to eat. If you’re a regular then they even allow you to eat outside food. It is a good idea if you want to slip away for a bit once the alcohol starts kicking in and everyone starts getting too existential for you to handle. Fries are always the answer. There are a lot of other places to eat such as Fat Kong, Khasiyat, and Juno’s Pizza that are all a minute away.

  1. Quirky ambience

[3.1.] Décor:

It’s called ZooBar for a reason. There are figurines of giraffes, ostriches, zebras and paintings of lions along with a cute wall art that says ‘Be Pawsitive.’ They have an outside sitting area for all you smokers as well as tables inside that have sofa seats on one side, so it is quite a comfortable place. School of Law students have a table designated at the back of the bar so if you’re headed here be sure to see some of us drinking our sorrows away. It’s squeaky clean, and a well-lit bar that is surprisingly big for it’s location so it is perfect to come in large groups. The stairs might be a problem for after you’re drunk so be sure to have a friend or the very friendly waiters help you down before you fall and crack your skull open.

[3.2.] Music:

They mostly play retro and old school music in the afternoons, which is perfect to have a good conversation, but in the night the place becomes a bar cum club with the DJ playing the latest numbers. However, they play Pink Floyd and Radiohead out of the blue in case you weren’t feeling existential enough while drinking on a Tuesday afternoon.

[3.3.] Games:

They offer games to play and even have a fair collection of books. It’s a great place to unwind with a couple of friends after a hard day of college. And no matter how much noise you make, none of the waiters complain unless they find you running around disturbing other customers.

[3.4.] Unisex Bathrooms:

ZooBar has a unisex bathroom. A very progressive move that lets all transsexuals or trans-genders or apache helicopters to feel comfortable while they piss out all the beer they’ve drank. Here I would like to quote the great Himesh Reshamiya who said, “Tere shareer mein itna khoon nahi hoga. jitna Ravi Kumar ek baar mein moot deta hai.” The beauty of a quote by such a great person is that it is applicable in so many different situations, whether to threaten your girlfriend’s kidnapper or talk about how much one pees after beer. My mother actually saw this guy as a prospective suitor the same week she met my father. #truestory. If she would’ve chosen him I might have had a successful singing career. If only!

Now all of you horny kids thinking this is going to be your new make out spot need to think again. We tried once but they had a guard in the toilet, who will relentlessly knock on your bathroom door and will kick you out. However, the guard appears and disappears on random days and his schedule remains a mystery. If you find a way to get past him, then bang away my friend.

  1. Pet Friendly

ZooBar is one of the few places in Mumbai you can bring your pets to. The waiters are very friendly and be sure to have everyone else at the bar swooning over your pet. It is actually a great way to get dates. Bring your pet to ZooBar on Valentine’s Day and be sure that everyone at the bar is going to come up to pet them. Start a conversation with whoever you think is cute and voila! You have a date. And if my brilliant idea doesn’t work or you don’t have a pet because your mother has threatened you with the typical ‘It is either me or the dog in this house’, then go there with your girlfriends/guy friends because nothing is better than a night out of getting shit faced with the people you love.

In conclusion, ZooBar is THE place to go, whether you’re tired of the hectic routine of college or you’re fed up with the projects and presentations or you’re bored or for no reason at all (we barely need an excuse to drink). It’s got cheap booze with no ID problems and you should definitely go to check out the eccentric interiors. Bring your pet or come with your friends and be sure to have a great time with all the games, booze and food ZooBar has to offer. See you there next Tuesday!